But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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