problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
