I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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