If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
