Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
