he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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