She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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