What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
