so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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