I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
