Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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