I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
