just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
