i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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