i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
