Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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