yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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