i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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