apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
