i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
