This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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