Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
