At least make sure they are 18
Why
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
