No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
