Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
