Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
