No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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