happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
