My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
