the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
