just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
