i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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