But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
