well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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