i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
