i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
