i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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