he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have post one night stand depression
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
