so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
