I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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