So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
