They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize