dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think people are normalizing furries
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
