Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
