p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
