I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
