Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
