Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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