my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
