The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
