I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
