if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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