don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
