If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize