Dual....:-)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
