I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize