Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize